Self-sabotage is insidious. It sucks the energy out of our lives and dreams, destroys our confidence, and crushes our ability to experience life to the fullest. And it’s so damn easy to justify.
“…one argument, one trip to the fridge, one beer—and in the moment, they seem harmless, maybe even helpful. But like a river eroding away rocks, self-sabotage creates a Grand Canyon of self-defeat from which it’s hard to climb out.” ~ Scientific American
We’ve all been there. One moment we’re full of spit and vinegar and the next a familiar crappy thought or behavior feels impossible to stop because it comes so naturally. #faceplant
What Does Self-Sabotage Look Like?
Any behavior that undermines your goals or well-being is a form of self-sabotage, whether you’re conscious of it or not – and the problem is, often we’re not.
“We think our decisions are conscious, but data shows that consciousness is just the tip of the iceberg,” says John-Dylan Haynes, a neuroscientist at the Max Planck Institute for Human Cognitive and Brain Sciences in Leipzig, Germany.
Self-sabotage most commonly appears in quick-fix behaviors like shopping when you need to save or get out of debt, starting flings with unavailable partners when you’re looking for “the one,” comfort eating when trying to lose weight, or refusing to risk failure when you want to succeed.
Self-sabotage is often the result of inner conflicting beliefs where we only consciously know one part of what is driving our behavior.
Belief #1: You believe you should be more assertive and outspoken to advance your career.
Belief #2: You believe you will be ridiculed or dismissed or not taken seriously if you speak up or attempt to assert yourself.
Likely symptoms: Fear, hesitation, self-loathing, passivity, passive-aggressive behavior, resentment, despair, a sense of futility, apathy or inner emptiness.
You know part of what you want, need or believe, but you experience the symptoms of both sides of the inner conflict.
Remember, the subconscious mind is always trying to protect us – fiercely, sometimes illogically! Imagine a student partying the night before an exam. If they fail, they can blame their poor grades on the partying and not on their abilities. That way they don't risk trying and failing. But if they do well on the exam, then they can feel proud and say, "even with that obstacle, I still did well." Either way, the student wins in preserving their identity.
Our self-talk and automatic reactions can be equally self-sabotaging. When you believe thoughts like “I’m not good enough,” you undermine your confidence, and in turn sabotage your goals. By indulging in destructive emotions, like unbridled rage, you waste a lot of energy which sabotages your motivation to complete your goals.
Ultimately, self-sabotage is about getting in your own way. And it’s hard to pin down. It can look like:
Procrastination
Impulsive actions
Arguing
Avoiding conflict
Giving up on a goal
Obsessing about a goal
Not speaking up
Talking too much
Breaking a diet
Over-dieting
Does this sound like an all too familiar pattern? It's disappointing, frustrating and sometimes even feels hopeless. The effects of self-sabotage are far reaching and can manifest as:
Missing deadlines
Loss of credibility
Decreased self-respect
Feeling depressed
Feeling worthless and inferior
Sexual dysfunction
Giving up or quitting
Self-loathing
Isolation and loneliness
Depression with suicidal thoughts
Harmful addictions
Damaged personal relationships
Financial problems
Job loss or career stagnation
Physical illness
How Hypnosis Helps
There are many ways to practice mindfulness to change behavior, but it can be a slow process going it alone.
Together we can explore your past to find out what created the problem to begin with. Then I’ll help you identify how and why you self-sabotage, and what triggers it by tapping into your subconscious needs and motivations.
My practice combines NLP (Neuro-linguistic programming), behavioral therapy, Gestalt therapy (integrating your different “parts”), and more with hypnosis for fast long lasting results.
I’ll guide you through a variety of hypnotic suggestions, visualizations, and other techniques to nourish and support the positive attitudes, feelings, beliefs, and actions necessary to replace self-sabotage with self-empowerment.
Benefits of Hypnosis for Self-Sabotage Include:
Renewed self-confidence and self-respect
More goals accomplished in less time
Higher self-esteem and greater self-love
Increased self-reliance
Meeting deadlines
Better time management skills
Restored reputation
Willingness to take more risks
Trusting your decisions
Improved personal and professional relationships
Forgiveness of self and others
Hypnosis can fuel measured action toward your goals. When you do anything you were intimidated by, or stop harmful behaviors in their tracks, subconsciously and consciously you’re telling yourself that you can do it.
When actions match intentions, success occurs. Showing up for yourself is half the battle.
Ready to feel better? Book a consultation or purchase a package today.